Spirituality in Motherhood

Recently, I read an article on my friend’s blog (you know who you are, and if I get permission from you, I’ll link back to your post). The author’s daughter is a mighty independent 2 year old who wants to wear her shoes by her”self”. If it goes onto the wrong foot after 10 minutes of hard work, so be it. Off comes the shoe at the mother’s word, and onto the correct foot.

 

I first wondered why my friend, let’s call her big M not to confuse her with my little M, didn’t tell her daughter S that the shoe was going onto the wrong foot from the get go. Why wait 10 minutes for it? I quickly lay those thoughts aside to run behind my own toddler. She takes 2 steps and sits back down carefully. What’s with that?

 

This morning, I was giving my daughter a bath, a time we enjoy immensely, our own special mother-daughter time. Now, she stands or sits when I ask her to (not consistently, I might add). I was reminded of another mother watching her child grow independent.

 

After handing my little M off to R to dress her up, my thoughts turned to the abstract. The mother shouldn’t give answers before they’re asked for. Especially if the consequences aren’t dangerous. If little S had asked her mother which foot the shoe was supposed to go onto, Big M would have gently guided her to it. Perhaps not given her the answer right away but shown her how the shape of the shoe reveals the foot it belongs to. My daughter wouldn’t even know the difference at her age, if I tried to explain about correct shoe, wrong foot. A preschooler would probably learn the lesson better if allowed to walk around for a bit with shoes on wrong.

 

Likewise, I continued thinking, the Cosmos doesn’t give us all of the answers. We have to ask. And even then, It only reveals Itself to the seeker, piece by tiny piece. And then, only offers guidance towards the answer. So, what is the purpose of existence? The answers will come only to those who truly seek the answer, look for it high and low, far and wide. When asked in the right way. At the right stage of spiritual development. In the right frame of mind. And if the Truth were revealed to the average person this instant, he/she won’t recognize it anyway.
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2 thoughts on “Spirituality in Motherhood

  1. Well, I see that I inadvertently got you thinking! It’s been a test of my patience to allow Sonya the ability to discover things for herself. Obviously, it would save me a lot of time if I did things for her, but she needs to figure things out, and that requires the freedom to let her try. But it’s really hard for me to refocus my attention to the hear and now, and enjoy it, and truly live in that moment, rather than worry about the next thing I have to do, or the next place I have to go, and how fast I need to get there. Interestingly, it’s a lesson that I really really learned with Leena’s arrival. I needed both my daughters to teach me how to be the type of mother I am growing to become. A person who is "a guide on the side" rather than a "sage on a stage" (something I learned in a teaching seminar).

  2. Yes, Mitali! Interesting seminar, that, was it? It takes all my willpower to let her make some mistakes even though it will create more work for now. Right now, she's on her first encounter with cheerios. She is dragging the bowl around the house, planting them along the way. She loves them, so is trying to grow them on trees, I suppose. Should someone break it to her, that we have hardwood floor, and not fertile soil? :-).

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